You may or may not know that I am a die-hard football fan, make that a die-hard Buffalo Bills fan. Save your breathe/key strokes as I am well aware of our current NFL staus. So for the past two years I have gone up to Buffalo to see the home opener. Aside from the football, there is lots of beer, zero responsibilities, and did I mention I wasn\’t at work. Buffalo really is a drinking town with a football problem. So here is a disorganized, and poorly written recap of my last trip in September. I apologize, most of the pics were taken with my phone.

The first stop after the airport, a quick stop at Niagra Falls. That view doesnt get old. The weather was absolutely perfect! The only thing it was missing was beer, on to our next destination.

Before we get on to the next stop, I wanted to mention my disgust with someone parked in the lot at the Falls.

This is my heaven as it relates to a sports bar, The Big Tree Inn. This place is everything that you expect a tiny, family-owned bar to be. The added bonus is the fact that it sits next to Ralph Wilson Stadium.

The place is completely covered with Buffalo Bills memorabilia. Here is a jersey from the soon-to-be Hall of Famer Darryl Talley. A lot of the players come in here time to time. I met wide receiver Lee Evans this time.

This picture sucks, and does absolutely no justice to these wings. I swear to you that you have not had buffalo wings until you have had these. This makes going out and ordering wings in Florida a lost cause. This isnt to say that I dont do it time to time, but you get the idea. Along with these badboys the bar tender keeps the “blue Light” flowing. I know there are some beer snobs sitting here reading this going, Labatt\’s Blue, really?!?! I dont give a shit. This beer is Buffalo to me. I also love that the fact that you can drink 1723 of them for days straight and never have a hangover. Cheers to that!

At some point we went down to the waterfront. It’s pretty cool to look accross the water and be able to look at another country.

Again, it was beer o\’clock. So off we went to Pearl Street Brewery. This place is huge; we hung out at the main bar for a while before heading to the outside patio.

Here is something I have yet to find in central Florida, Growlers. How nice is it to be able to take craft beer home with you?

This is a portion of the beers available at Pearl Street. I had about half of them, and would without question get any of them again.

Oh so this is what the beer isle is suppose to look like at the grocery store. We had to stock up for the game the next day. Beer and grilled meat,  life is good.

I will end this with a view from the 50 yd line seats I scored. The Bills lost, but the seats, game, beer, and experience was great. Buffalo, I look forward to seeing you next year; you stay classy

Well better late than never….right? Sorry it took so long for me to put this together. I wanna recap the Stella Artois Events from last month. First off, let me say that the folks from Stella and Mosaic are awesome; I had a blast at both events. The initial introduction was at Crave in Orlando.

We were given our press kits, and discussed the 9 step pouring ritual before dinner. We also talked about what to look for in the competition; as some of us were to be judges. The chef created a fantastic menu to pair with the all of that delicious Stella. The food was incredible, from appetizer to dessert.  I went with the pesto shrimp, mahi-mahi with coconut curry sauce, and the mini banana cream pie. I will absolutely be back soon.

The actual competition took place at Firestone Live. Honestly, I had no idea what to expect going in to this, but they encouraged me to have some beers and it became clear that having fun was as important as the competition itself. I watched as several of the contestants practiced the 9 step pouring ritual, and yes I drank the beer they poured. After a while the club began to fill up. This led to several walk-on contestants. Go to the club to have some drinks and end up in a beer competition, pretty cool stuff.

Before long the judges were brought on stage and they showed us the scoring system we would be using. There were two judges for each of the two contestants that would be on stage. We had a few more beers and the competition started. We were introduced on stage and took our seats. It seemed like the entire competition portion of the night was maybe 15 or 20 minutes total. It was an NCAA bracket style system, and it worked.

The Orlando winner was crowned, Grant Huff. I had hoped to have a full interview with Grant, but he was experiencing what I would call technical difficulties.

There were 16 U.S. Finalists total including the Wildcard from the What\’s Your Pour Score (see right):

• William Huetz , Tampa
• Chuck Rogers, Tampa
• Grant Huff, Orlando
• Sarah Arnold, Las Vegas
• Scott Ast, Las Vegas
• Will Schneider, Denver
• John Van Bockern, Denver
• Ryan Petro, Phoenix
• Seema Jeswani, New York
• Chris Meyers, New York
• Jerome Eno, Boston
• Nate Garel, Boston
• Therese Steiner, Boston
• Aimee Chambers, Washington, D.C.
• Brady Locher, Washington, D.C.
• David Silverman , New York City-Wildcard

The U.S. Championship will be Friday, Sept. 17 in Boston at the Liberty Hotel. If you are going to go, please contact me. I would love to hear how it went.

Well we weren\’t gonna do it, but we did. At the last minute, and by last minute I mean a couple of hours before it started, we threw together a team for the 2010 Sumer Beerlympics in Orlando. In case you arent familiar with this event, I will fill you in. It is and event put together twice a year by OSSC. You pay $100 per team of four people, and yes it is a co-ed event. Your team then competes in Flip-Cup, Beer Pong, and Quarters. The top 8 teams make the playoffs where they will compete for a $500 cash prize, and some serious bragging rights.

Teams can earn 10 bonus Points for dressing up in “uniform”. Take a look at the Anchorman Team. This was easily the best one there.

The first event we decided to go with was quarters. I have typically done well in this event, but tonight this was not the case. In fact, only one team member able to win their round. Not quite the start Team Beer On Wheels was hoping for.

The second event we competed in was Flip-Cup. This went much more according to plan. You can see from the video below, we did well. We ended up winning 2 out of 3 games. I won\’t name any names as to why it wasn\’t a sweep, Juan!

The Final event was Beer Pong. This is what we play most often, so we were feeling pretty good about it. My hangover from the night before made me certain of this. You split in to two, two person teams. We decided to play the same team we had just beatin in flip-cup. Actually, they decided that they wanted some revenge. We won both games. This is the team we played.

We turned in our score cards, and hung around for him to tell us where we stood. 5th place! Considering the top eight teams make it to the playoffs, we were happy; especially considering the quarters fiasco. We posted up in the nearest bar, got some drinks, and waited for the annoucement. We ended up finishing 9th and missed the playoffs by one spot. We will be back for the Winter edition,and while I wont go all Joe Namath and guarantee a victory, I will promise we will make the playoffs. Good job Ashley, Juan, and Funk.

Well folks it has been an interesting week. I received an email inviting me to the Stella Artois Draught Master Competition in Orlando on Thursday. I wasnt quite sure exactly what this entailed, but it was beer related, so of course I was in. I have since done some research, and am very excited to get the chance to see this live. The only bartending competition I have ever seen was basically flipping, catching, spinning bottles and lighting 151 on fire. This is the absolute other end of the spectrum from that; here it\’s all about the art of the pour.

Ripping the top off a bottle of (insert crap light beer here) is easy, but preparing a beer following the strict standards of the Belgian Pouring Ritual takes a lot more care and attention to detail.

The Draught Master Competition recognizes the best bartenders for their ability to adhere to the 9-Step Pouring Ritual, a process that includes “purifying” the glassware; “sacrificing” the first beer poured and “beheading” the beer for the perfect head of foam.

Judges grade the competitors on their ability to pour a perfect glass of Stella Artois and Hoegaarden from draught. Competitors are also judged on how well they open, pour, and serve bottles of Stella Artois. Judges are looking for the perfect pour as well as a showcase of skills, style and personality.

click Here to see the 9-Step Pouring Ritual in action.

Well thats all I have for now, I will recap the event with pictures, videos, and possibly interviews. All this while trying to prep for the Beerlympics.

Have ever stood in a check out line at a Walgreens, or a CVS and said to yourself “who the hell buys this crap?”? There is everything from the wall-mounted talking bass to silly bands. I started thinking about all the beer related items that are available online, and in stores like Spencer\’s Gifts. I\’m still not sure if people really think these are cool, or they buy them as a joke. Either way, retarded is the only word that comes to mind.

Exhibit A:

You you really wanna walk around opening beers for people with your shirt? How the hell do you wash that thing? The entire block would know when you put that shirt in the dryer; not to mention said dryer, would no longer have a coating of enamel on the inside. What if you hug a girl, and poke her eye out? Huh? What then captain robot bottle opener?

Exhibit B:

This one almost seems like a good idea until you need it. Who the hell wants the opening in their beer bottle touching the floor of a porta-potty? Well this is basically the same thing, Unless your house is ridiculously clean, and you never wear these outside, but if your in the house, why not just use a bottle opener? FAIL! Who hasnt scraped dog crap off their shoe before? Thats all i can think of when I look at this.

So what other “gems” have you guys come accross? I would love to see some comments.

Chances are if you love beer, you also love meat. If this is not the case, close this window immediately, proceed to the nearest tree, and hug it. For the rest of you I have put together some easy instructions for the perfect BBQ or tailgate food.

1st off you need your Bratwurst.

You can’t count on your local grocery store always having  them in stock. Whole Foods makes sausage to order and their bratwurst are a solid choice. Your local butcher shop should also be able to whip up a batch for you. Or you could go all DIY and make your own. I would suggest just buying some.

Sauerkraut and Mustard

Sauerkraut is a tasty and nutritious addition to the bratwurst boiling mixture and is festive as a garnish. There are countless varieties of mustard. Offer your guests an assortment of Bavarian, sweet, coarse and hot. You could also say screw the guests and just get what you like. There are German specialties stores throughout North America.

Buns

Brats are generally served on a hearty brown seeded bun. These are slightly larger than a hot dog bun, and are capable of handling the girth and fortitude of a bratwurst.

Beer

You need enough beer to cover the bratwurst. Don\’t buy the cheap stuff. If you were gonna skimp on the beer then you probably dont read this blog anyway, at least I hope not. Select something hearty and flavorful. A six-pack should cover a dozen bratwurst.

Step 1: Boiling

Pour the beer into your stock pot. A 6-pack should cover a dozen bratwurst. Add half a jar of sauerkraut and save the rest for garnish. Drop in the brats and stir the mixture gently. Turn up the heat to medium-high. When the beer starts boiling (should only take a few minutes) set your timer to 8 minutes.

Your kitchen should now smell like heaven.

Brats are made of pork, so you should cook them thoroughly. But boil them too long and they\’ll get dry and grainy. As soon as the timer goes off, remove the brats from the beer/sauerkraut mixture and dispose of the liquid. If you slice into one, it may be a bit pink. That\’s OK, they\’ll finish cooking on the grill. Never slice into the brats before or during cooking. Ever. You want to preserve the integrity of the casing, that\’s what holds the juices in. If you want extra taste, let the brat soak after boiling. The longer you soak, the more intense the flavor. Do not overboil! You\’ll boil all the fat out and be left with a nasty tasting sausage.

Step 2: Grilling

While the brats are boiling, prepare a BBQ grill. Gas or charcoal is fine. After removing the brats from the boiling beer, grill 4 to 5 minutes per side.

Step 3: Serving

Toast the bratwurst buns on the grill for 10 to 20 seconds. Serve each brat in a bun. Add kraut and mustard, if they ask for ketchup, ask them to leave the premises.

Well I hope this helps. Leave a comment if you have any suggestions, or to send an invite to your cookout.

So does free beer have your attention? I am going to show you a few tricks that could get you some free drinks now and again, especially if your audience is a little tipsy. Perhaps you have seen some of these, and wondered how they did it; well here you go.

Smoking Fingers

Get a book of matches. Head into the bathroom and start running cold water full blast in the sink. Peel the striker from the matchbook and separate it from as much paper as you can. Lay the striker on top of the faucet, above the running water, with the end hanging off the edge just slightly. Burn it with a lighter. The condensation on the faucet will catch a dark residue. Wipe it up with your finger. Shut off the water and go back to the bar. Bet someone you can create smoke without fire. Rub the finger with the residue on it together with your thumb. The result? Smoking Fingers!

The Camel

The camel on the camel cigarettes pack faces to the left. The challenge: Make it face to the right. The secret. Put in line two glasses full of water and the pack and look through them. The camel magically faces to the right.

The Bent Cigarette

The challenge: Bend a cigarette in half, without breaking it and without making it un-smokable. The secret: Take a dollar bill and roll it tightly around the cigarette then bend it in half till the filter tip touches the other end. The cigarette will not break and you can still smoke it.

Open a Beer with a Dollar

Fold the dinero in half and roll it tightly like a cigarette. Then fold it in half again to create a sharp corner. Hold the open end between your thumb and index finger. Grip the bottle\’s neck with your other hand to act as a fulcrum. Stick the corner under the lip of the cap and pop.

The Cork Stand
The challenge: Drop a wine cork so it lands upright. The secret is to hold the cork horizontally and drop it from a height 1.5 times its length. Almost every time, one end of the cork will strike the table first. Its rotational momentum will be just great enough to make it pivot 90 degrees on the hop and stick the landing like Mary Lou Retton.

Playing With Fire
Whiskey and flames make this the Evel Knievel of bar stunts. First, bet your buddies you can pick up a shot glass with the flat palm of your hand, no cupping. Then fill said glass about halfway with 100-proof well whiskey, or Bacardi 151 and set it ablaze. Press your palm firmly over the mouth of the glass: The flame dies instantly and the resulting vacuum seals the glass to your hand. Lift. Celebrate your feat by swearing and tossing a few Ron Artest elbows; or maybe just make them buy you a drink.

Magical Coin

After a shot, cover the glass with a business card, bum a cigarette, and cap it off with a coin. Then, gather everyone around and bet them that you can get the coin into the glass without touching it. Say a couple of magic words, give a puff so as to blow the card and cigarette out of the way, and buy a round of shots with your winnings.

Well hopefully you\’re sober enough to pull off one or two of these and score yourself a couple of free rounds. Feel free to return the favor if you see me at the bar!

Well folks, it\’s Memorial Day. Unfortunately for most this is just a three-day weekend, and a reason to drink some beers, or go to the beach. The fact of the matter is, most people dont take the time to reflect on what this day is really all about. Every American able to read this should be thankful for the men and women who have served this country, some of whom have made the ultimate sacrifice. I would like to take a moment to thank all who have served, or are serving currently; including my Father who was a Green Beret in Vietnam, and my Brother who served in the Marines.

On a lighter note, I was just reading an actual news article that depicted a tale that could only take place in the lovely state of Florida. A 32 year old man was arrested today in New Port Richey after making several 911 calls to report that his mother had taken his Beer. This is a true story. You truly cannot fix stupid.

Hope everyone had a happy and safe Memorial Day, and if you get a chance thank a Vet.

This is interesting!

And to paraphrase W.C. Fields,
I don’t drink water, because fish shit in it..
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine… and those who don’t.
As Ben Franklin said:
“In wine there is wisdom,
in beer there is freedom,
in water there is bacteria.”

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) – bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop..
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum! whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health.
Therefore, it’s better to drink wine or beer and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit!.

• Date: Saturday May 15, 2010
• Time: 4pm-8pm
• Heritage Square-Downtown Orlando
• All you can eat and drink
• Details here: http://bit.ly/b1IYHy